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Why We Need to Stop Using “Stop Crying. Be a man.”

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On the 29th of April actress, Jessica Chastain, tweeted about the problems with the phrase, “Stop crying. Be a man.” Within the tweet, the actress stated men’s vulnerabilities should be cherished because their lives depend on it. She then stated, “121 Americans die by suicide each day, according to the Centers for Disease Control- and 93 of them are men.” Thinking about the use of the phrase “Stop crying. Be a man,” makes me think of the Dove campaign #LikeAGirl in 2014. Not only is our culture at fault for stereotyping men and women but I think media plays a huge role in why men and women are stereotyped. The phrase “Stop crying. Be a man,” didn’t fabricate out of thin air. It’s rare to see male actors cry in movies and if they do it’s often made into a big deal. If men are seen crying they usually feel the need to justify with a reason behind it. I’m about to get deeply personal but I cry! I firmly believe crying is a great way to relieve stress. Sometimes you just have to have yourself a good old fashion cry. There is nothing wrong with men and women showing their emotions. I agree and think we should stop using terms that stereotype genders. If we continue to stereotype men and women then I think bigger problems will arise. Men will feel like they need to keep from expressing their emotions. Instead of using phrases like “Be a man” and “Like a girl” we should eliminate them altogether in hopes of moving in a positive direction that will help both men and women express their emotions comfortably.

4 comments

  1. I think it’s really important that you bring this up! Toxic masculinity plagues society and creates the illusion of roles and stereotypes that we all must follow. A great documentary that discusses this idea of gendered language and perceptions is “The Mask You Live In.” It should definitely be watched if you’re interested in the topic!

  2. As a guy, I agree with you. I don’t think guys should have to bottle up their true feelings. I’ve done it before and it doesn’t make the pain go away. It makes it linger. If I’m feeling sad and I want to tear up, I do it. It’s dumb to let some stereotype made up a long time ago dictate how a man should feel.

  3. I agree! It is true when you say that there is nothing wrong with showing your emotions. I personally never liked that phrase, “Stop crying. Be a man.” I find it unnecessary and offensive. Always’ campaign #LikeAGirl is a very good one. The first time I watched the video I was shocked to see that when they asked 10 year olds to do something “like a girl” they would do it with great confidence, meanwhile the older people would show weakness.

  4. I completely agree, I feel like men and women who allow themselves to feel and deal with their pain through crying, are any other way they know how, have a better chance of working through their issues and growing from them

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